The power of language and threes

It's a new year and a new start. I feel that I have so much I want to say. Yesterday I got together with other co-active coaches which was fantastic in so many ways. Three of us had gone through the course together and it was like meeting old friends. With the others, there was a common language because we had had similar experiences through our training.

What struck me most powerfully on reflection was the symbolism of the number three. In numerology it is often linked to integration and wholeness. We often talk about the relationship between mind, body and spirit and the energy/ power an individual has when the three elements are in harmony. Interestingly I discovered yesterday that in Buddhist temples incense sticks are lit and placed in groups of three.

In my own life I am always aware of bad things coming in threes but I am less conscious of the same pattern with positive stuff. Looking back at yesterday's session there was a clear message and that was the power of words. In an initial conversation, we talked about writing out intentions and then coming back to them at a later date. Someone had recently found something they had written a year ago and it described almost to the letter the good things that they were currently experiencing. I took away from that a sense of how powerful words can be. We then considered as a group what the word message meant which led to a rich discussion and what I took from that was a sense that messages are everywhere if we are alert to them. Finally we looked at whether we as coaches had a particular message for our clients.

As a result of the session, I decided to spend some time with myself and compose my intentions for 2009 which I would then review in a year's time. My challenge to you is to do the same and see how much impact they have on your year.

What is the difference between a coach and a good friend?

Some people wonder how having a coach is different from having a friend and perhaps you are one of those people. You might think I have lots of good friends and a partner surely I can talk to them. Of course you can talk to people yoou know and there are some similarities between a coach and a friend. A coach needs to be someone with whom you have rapport. If the rapport is not there then you will not trust them and will consciously or unconsciously hold back what really needs to be said. There, however the similarity ends.

A coach's role is to work with a person's essence. So if you are the client then the coach uses tools to see who you can really be and to help that shine through as so often it is hidden. One of the ways of doing that is to really engage with you so that the underlying issues/ feelings are heard and brought out onto the table. Listening is a key skill in all this and what this means is focusing one's whole attention onto the client rather than thinking what shall I say next. In this way a coach is in service of their client. Also a degree of anonymity helps this process, as friends may see you as a particular kind of person and hold you in that space rather than seeing all of who you can be.

What can coaching do for you?

The purpose of this blog is to introduce you to coaching with me. Since starting my own company I have realised that despite the proliferation of coaches in the global marketplace, there are still many people that have very little idea what coaching can do for them. Perhaps because they are not clear on the benefits of a good coach, they also tend to see coaching as a non-essential extra that they may fit in when they have time.

From my perspective, coaching is an exceptionally valuable tool. Its purpose is to help individuals move forward from wherever they find themselves at that current moment. For example earlier today I was working with a very well known consultant and trained psychotherapist who has over 35 years experience coaching and consulting to consultants. His feedback at the end of the telephone session was that I had freed him up and taken him to a more creative space in which to prepare for a big event later this week. In other words coaching helps individuals reach their full potential and to live and work from that place by moving forward from the present.