Post Christmas reflection

I love this photo of different coloured Christmas baubles because it sums up so much of what Christmas is about for me.  Lots of colour, bringing family and friends together, variety and fun.

This Christmas was different to others because my aunt died on Christmas eve.  It was not unexpected and yet the timing was awkward.  When my uncle phoned to tell us, my eldest was having a mini melt down because she and I had different views on what dress she was going to wear to the Crib service (she is 4 going on 14) and I was concerned that we were going to be late as it is the most popular service of the year and it was past the time we had agreed to leave.  My father had to go outside in the freezing cold so that he could hear his brother and conversed with him for a while.  Suddenly what time we got to the service seemed trivial.  A day later than usual the absent friends and family toast was more poignant than in previous years as we stopped to remember my aunt and think about those she had left behind.

For me Christmas is all about seeing family and friends to share food and drink and be together.  What I enjoyed about this holiday period was the time A and I spent thinking about what meals we were going to cook and what wines we would serve, including some rituals too.  This is how I show my love to those closest to me.  We baked a salmon for Christmas eve something that goes back to my childhood.  My Grandmother's birthday was 23 December so we always had salmon on Christmas eve when we got together because it was her favourite food.  Other highlights this year included a game terrine which we had on boxing day evening with a barley and pomegranate salad and crostini of roasted peppers and melted garlic goats cheese.  For the major gathering of the clans, I made and served a venison and cranberry casserole followed by trifle or pears in red wine (courtesy of my Mum) and Christmas cake.  What was special about the preparation of that meal was that my Mum and I prepared vegetables for the casserole together and it enabled us to bond through sharing a task.

We had the most fun on boxing day morning when we all went out to a field to go sledging. Old and young alike took turns on the sledges, often in mixed pairs.  A and I both ended up falling off more than once - and I found myself in front of the sledge at one point! The grannies won the prize for going the furthest on one of the sledges. It was fantastic because everyone let go of their inhibitions, relaxed and had good, clean fun. 

Note to self next year I am going to make sure we do something equally silly and relaxing a day earlier. Summing up ours is quite a traditional Christmas, it works and will not change much from year to year.  In fact the few Christmases in my life that I have been apart from those closest to me or abroad have felt very strange. 

Reflecting on Christmas, how traditional was yours?  What went well, what could have gone better?  What will you do differently next year?  How much did you really enjoy it? I would love to hear your thoughts.


Details of the photographer for the photo can be found here.

How to enjoy the magic of Christmas

So I am conscious that many of my readers are parents as well as professionals which means as well as having a family you are either juggling the demands of others or your own business. So when the festive season comes along, frankly it can all seem to much. As an example, at the beginning of last week I remember reading someone's facebook status which said that they had bought all their Christmas presents and written all their Christmas cards. My thought at the time was and it's not even December yet! This was followed by a cold sweat and my gremlins took over for a moment and started saying I was so far behind I would never catch up...(you can imagine the rest). Why I am sharing all this with you is because after that something amazing happened which helps to explain the power of conscious embodiment. I took a breath and relaxed!

It was a bit more than that! I centred myself and from that space of calm, I was able to say that although I did not know how I was going to get everything done, I trusted myself enough to know that it would get done. It was amazing how much I did get done in one day - Saturday, a day when my OH was off "playing soldiers" and so I was a single parent. The girls and I spent a lovely part of the morning at the Melting Pot in Hitchin because my friend Dawn who runs it, had an open day. They were happy playing with a train set whilst I caught up with a number of people and bought 4 main presents and a couple of little ones. We then went on to the Town Hall where there was a Christmas Bazaar taking place,organised by White Rose Management. My intention was to go and support Sarah and I ended up buying another two presents, some delicious and highly original cupcakes for the home team and placing an order for cardigans for the girls.

What was lovely was how easy it all was. I now have my two international parcels made up to send out tomorrow. The Christmas letter is also written and I am a step closer to finalising another present. Suddenly it all seems much more manageable and I have actually started to enjoy the run up to Christmas - this week both girls have their nativity plays and I can't wait. One of the bonuses of having small children is that their infection is contagious. We have written letters to Father Christmas and they love opening their advent calendars each day and asking how many days it is until Christmas.

In short if you found yourself nodding with the sentiments expressed at the beginning of this post then here's something you can try:

1. Find a space where you can be quiet.
2. Stand with your weight evenly balanced between the front and back of your feet.
3. Take a breath in and then a much longer exhale out that you imagine spiralling into the floor.
4. Check that your shoulders and jaw are relaxed and you have dropped into your gut.
5. Visualise the space that you inhabit beyond your body is evenly distributed front and back; left and right; and above and below.

Now you are centred and from this space say to yourself I don't know how I am going to get everything ready for Christmas (or put in something else that is causing you a certain level of anxiety) but I believe that I can do it. Stay in that space for as long as you can - 10 seconds, 30 seconds, 2 minutes, 5 minutes. Then as the days unfold from that point on, watch what happens. It can be truly magically.

A modern take on the 12 days of Christmas

We are all familiar with the 12 days of Christmas but how about this 12 ways to make a difference, one for each of the 12 days.

1. Remember how blessed you are and then be a blessing!

2. Help a neighbour.

3. Visit an old friend.

4. Give to your favourite charity.

5. Invite a friend to Church.

6. Volunteer at a local hospital.

7. Call a distant relative.

8. Tell someone you love them.

9. Give and accept a hug.

10. Forgive someone and yourself.

11. Share your life experiences and be an inspiration.

12. And finally remember the reason for the season (it will make all the difference!)

My challenge to you is to try one of these on each of the 12 days following Christmas up until and including 6 Jan 2010 and let me know how you get on. Alternatively make up your own 12 and share them below. Have a great Christmas and thanks for your readership this year.

How can you make a difference to someone's Christmas this year?

The clocks have gone back, the nights are drawing in and we had snow this morning. It is no surprise that Christmas falls when it does because just a few days before some will have celebrated the winter solstice on the shortest day of the year. It is lovely to have a time of festivity at what can be seen as the darkest part of the year in more ways than one.

Personally I love Christmas for many reasons. It is fabulous to live in a cold climate where Christmas pudding, cream and brandy butter makes sense. We need good solid food in the winter months to give us the fuel and energy required to protect us against the freezing outdoor temperatures. It is also a good excuse for mulled wine and as I write this I can almost smell the oranges, cloves and cinnamon that go into it. In our house we often throw the large cinnamon sticks onto our log fire and as they burn and the fire crackles we enjoy breathing in the wonderful aroma that permeates from the grate.

My youngest who is just two loves playing with a reindeer eye mask that friends gave us last year and despite my many attempts to put it away she always seems to find it and run round the house wearing it, often upside down, which causes much hilarity in the rest of us. My eldest who is three now really got into Christmas last year in that she started saying what she wanted for several weeks beforehand and was even heard to say “I need.” This was certainly an advance on the previous year when she was about 20 months and I was the one who was very excited about taking her to see Father Christmas. As soon as she walked into his “grotto” she became terrified and did anything she could to run away from him and what I had expected to be a fun excursion became fraught on a number of levels!

There is a serious note to Christmas and that is the fact that it is a time when there can be great marital tensions and break ups. It is quite a long time to spend together under the same roof for some families. It can also be particularly difficult for those who live alone and who either have no family or no contact with them. When I was growing up, we found ourselves in transient communities in far flung countries because of the nature of the job and there would often be single people around. My father has a great sense of bonhomie and I remember many Christmas days spent with random individuals that he had befriended.

I always enjoyed it because it added an extra dimension to the activities and is something that I recreate in a limited way now that I have my own home. Are there people within your own communities who will be alone this Christmas and if so what could you do to bring them some Christmas cheer?