Beware the ides of March

I recall when I announced to some colleagues that I was setting up my own business that one of them said how hard it was to go solo. Back then the comment barely registered. Now some time into it, I really do understand what they were trying to say.

Reflecting back on March, it was a very tough month. In many ways it should not have been. I was busier than I had ever been since starting my own business and yet....

There was a moment when I felt that what I had set out to do with Whole Self Leadership had failed. I became paralysed by fear which made the feeling of stuckness even more real. I was incapable of making even basic decisions or running the house well. All this was because two initiatives that I had put together with others did not get off the ground. Insufficient people wanted what we were offering. That's rejection and it's painful however many times it happens.

What I now realise thanks to a very helpful chat with Qdosology is that the act of destruction or death is all part of the process on the journey of transition. In other words for me to find my true path for now, I need to let go of that which is not serving me. I particularly liked his way of explaining it using the caterpillar's life cycle. I am currently in the chrysalis stage and trying to punch my way out so that I can be a beautiful butterfly. I have never been very good at waiting.

It also helps me to accept that whilst I am a Mum that is not the whole of my identity. In other words whilst I would have liked to have had a blog that was nominated for the MADs, I was not surprised or disappointed when it was not.

So what's next? Karen and I had a very useful discussion on where to take Minerva's Mind so watch this space and I have made a decision to find 5 minutes each day to meditate probably using incense or an oil burner to help focus the mind. Putting this out here means there is now some accountability to doing it so I can report back on what I learnt.

This post has been written as part of the writing workshop over at Sleep is for the Weak and is on sharing how I am dealing with a deep felt sense of rejection.

re: what to do when the creative juices are not flowing

How often do you find yourself going round in circles on an issue particularly if you run your own business? It feels like a vicious circle. You cannot seem to get any clarity? Any suggestions that you have or others make do not seem viable for one reason and another? If this is happening then you are being overwhelmed by fears or other negative emotions and it's as if no course of action is the right one. It is very likely that you are at cause, stuck in an issue. In other words I cannot do that because....

What a good coach or mentor can do is help you move to effect where you can see what the effect of a particular action could be. One of the ways of doing this is to ask "What will you feel if you don't carry out this plan/ idea?" If the disappointment is greater than the fear then it will act as a motivator to help move you on. Another way is to focus on how you will feel when you have accomplished that goal and if that feels really compelling and exciting then it can be enough to stimulate you into action.

So if you feel stuck try these ideas through self coaching and perhaps write down your answers to each of the questions. Do let me know how you get on.