Fulfilment is a radical act

Wow what a week it has been. I have been out every night this week and that will continue tonight and tomorrow night. Then on Sunday we are at friends for Sunday lunch before going on holiday for a week and a much needed rest! I thrive on being busy and the week has been so varied, more anon but there is a down side: OH gets grumpy because he has to adapt his work plans and fend for himself and sometimes the girls too at dinner time. It reminds me of one of those little personality tests one does where one ranks animals and it tells you which of five things are most important to you: they include career, love and family. I remember when I did it many years ago family was the least important and career was the most important!

All that has changed now of course but there is a cost to all this activity. On the more trivial side it has been two weeks since I last saw sight of the two year old's doodles. The shoe rack has been tidied and the utility room searched to no avail. It irritates me but I try to let go of it as there is very little more I can do and they must be somewhere in the house so why waste energy fretting about it. Similarly we have just noticed that Erin's favourite CD is not where it should be above the CD player on the shelf and she keeps asking for it. We have checked the car and as it has not been played for a couple of months I have no idea where it is and again it is minor. Underlying these kind of minor irritations, is something that is potentially much larger. I have noticed that the more that I go out to work, the more the running of the house grinds to a halt.

However this observation leads me to reflect on the words of a very powerful motivational speaker whom I was privileged to hear earlier this week and that was the Investigator. In essence having a vision and following it, whilst it can be empowering and lead to great things like seeing the first black man in the White House; it comes at a price. In the case of Obama, there was a photo of him sprawled across a chair with his feet on the table. The soles of his shoes were visible and had virtually worn through from all the walking he did on the campaign trail. Quite different from the videos of his inaugural speech where he was saying yes we can.

In short, many people never get to the stage where they have articulated a compelling future and therefore can be envious of those that have. Yet even when we have a clear sense of the direction of travel and our purpose here on earth, fulfilling it comes at a price. I am now beginning to understand what Jesus meant when he told his disciples that he had no family and that they were his family. He knew what he had to do and there was no space for family ties and loyalty within that. It is also becoming clear to me why I kept reading references to the CTI quotation fulfilment is a radical act. I had to grasp it, absorb it and write about it.