How does she do it?

I am beginning to wonder if there is something in the cosmos at the moment but as I am not an astrologist so I cannot be sure. It just seems that many people I know are having very busy times that can at times be extraordinarily stressful. Below is an account of my day today because it highlights what those of us who are Mums and running businesses go through a lot.

I am launching a new course next month and have done a great deal of prep for it. My initial email had not had much response so I ended up going to a networking event this morning as I knew I would meet some of the people who had signalled initial interest there. This sounds easier than it was. Last week I had to call in a favour with a good friend and ask her to look after my 2 y/o as despite the event being aimed at Mums, there is no creche. I did not feel too bad as we usually see said friend and her 2 y/o on Wednesdays at the same playgroup. What it involved was getting to the venue 40 minutes early to deposit my youngest before heading off to the meeting.

However that was not all. Part of the reason I had not gone to bed until 23.30 last night was because I had to wrap a pressie and write a card for the daughter of a dear friend (we went to school together) because she was three today. It is the 3 y/o's ballet class on Wednesday and so I had to call in an even bigger favour and ask one of my local friends if she would pick up the 3 y/o from pre-school, feed her lunch, let her play w/ her daughter then take her to and from ballet. She often takes the 3 y/o to ballet but would now be responsible for her for 4.5 hours. Despite feeling uncomfortable about this, I did ask and she did say yes last week. Just needed to remember to pack her ballet stuff for pre-school and take her car seat with us too!!

That done the 2 y/o and I headed into town. This involved finding a new car park where I was going to meet my friend, so a quick look on the internet was needed before we headed out. Deposited 2 y/o then a mad dash to the networking meeting stopping briefly to apply lippy in the car mirror. As soon as the meeting had finished and I had caught up with a couple of people, it was a mad rush back to the playgroup where I sang a couple of songs with my 2 y/o, touched base with friend then a quick march homewards for lunch. Just needed to check that all was ok with friend who was picking up 3 y/o because she had not been at pre-school or answered her phone that morning so popped into her house. Ended up going through a convoluted explanation with her husband as that friend was out and then hurried home to feed 2 y/o.

After a quick sandwich we headed off to Buckingham about an hour away. We had to stop en route to fill the car with diesel as it was virtually empty! We arrived at the softplay area in plenty of time and so I was able to fit in 3 business calls including one about a possible venue for my 3 y/o's birthday which is next month. Importantly I got the last space in the car park. We stayed for an hour and a half. There was more food including chips and other starchy stodge for the mummys. We managed to see the cutting of the cake before we left. Despite a good run home we still got back after my friend so there was a message on the home phone saying that she had my 3 y/o at her house. That did make me feel guilty so we scooted over as fast as we could to collect the 3 y/o.

Since then I have been at home with two very tired children doing the bedtime ritual including supper and party cake. Not a great combination with a rather stressed, over-caffeinated Mum to boot. Is it all worth it I wonder? What do you think?

From Slummy Mummy to Yummy Mummy

I remember how eye-catching the above title was when I read it as the subject of a talk aimed at Mums considering going into their own business. It's not mine but it encapsulates what I want to write about and that is about image.

For those of you that do not know me, I had two girls within 15 months of each other. That meant that any figure I once had just disappeared. As a consequence and due to being physically and emotionally exhausted post the second birth, I spent the best part of two years as slummy mummy. I lived in jeans and as I had told myself that I would not spend money on clothes in a size that I did not intend to inhabit for long, most of them were not in anyway stylish.

So what changed? Some things did not change much in that I am much happier in an informal environment and will still wear jeans frequently. Using my coaching techniques and my will power which can be formidable, I lost the baby weight and am now five pounds heavier than I was pre-children. Not bad when the experts say that one should expect to gain half a stone with every child one has! So that meant I was able to reward myself and buy some new clothes. And yet it was more than that, I realised that I was the face of my business and therefore it was worth getting dressed up and wearing make up for networking meetings and tweet ups. It also made me feel more confident. Around the same time I discovered eye brow plucking in a big way. I don't do it methodically but I swear it makes me look younger which, when everything else is going south, is a bonus! I also have a three year old who, when asked what she wants me to wear, always says a dress. Sometimes I comply but normally I compromise by going as far as skirt.

So that's me but I found something that is a bit of fun and can be used to help you decide who you are, so tick off mentally all the ones that resonate with you:

Slummy Mummy

1. You always wear the same clothes as they are practical, and often covered in food.
2. You may occasionally get to brush your hair before you go out.
3. You have turned up at a class only to find that it is half term and you had forgotten
4. You do the odd class only because you want to get out and meet people for your sanity
5. The house is always an absolute tip and you don't care - what is the point of tidying up when all the toys will come out again anyway?

Yumy Mummy

1. You are always perfectly groomed
2. You wouldn't dream of taking your children swimming yourself as you would mess up your hair - they have a personal instructor
3. Your children wear designer clothes
4. Your children have a strict timetable of classes from birth to ensure their education is top notch, they will never be allowed to jus play
5. The house is always perfectly tidy, and you would never know children live there

This post has been written for Josie's writing workshop and was inspired by Nicky's post, which when I read it, I knew that I just had to write my own version. So thank you Nicky and Josie for giving birth to this post so to speak.

Getting the balance between work and the family

It's Wednesday and we are mid-way through the half term break so it seems a good point to reflect on life as a Mumpreneur and share what I really enjoy. This is only possible because I am a WFHM so I have the choice of how to manage my work. It struck me because I was at a networking meeting last night where one couple who are also business partners were there, and their kids were upstairs using laptops because they have no back up support and could not leave them at home. In that instance it meant that one of them kept nipping out to go and check on the kids and therefore could not be fully present. More than that, I think it means that it is difficult to get into the different rhythms that a half term break offers.

What I have enjoyed this week is the fact that I have not had to jump out of bed early o'clock to get the breakfast conveyor belt going. We had a lie in this morning and were finishing up breakfast at 9.45am which was delightful. No need to hurry the girls into the clothes or have the mad hunt round for someone's indoor shoes or gloves that have gone missing. We then sauntered into town and had a delightful morning before returning for lunch.

We are also using this week to catch up with friends that are a little further afield or whose kids have different routines during termtime. This is very valuable because in some cases we have known the families since our eldest was born in 2006 and strong bonds have been formed by all concerned. In particular, I am looking forward to having dinner with a member of our antenatal group tomorrow night, who emigrated to Canada almost two years ago, and is back on a short holiday.

I like to remember these times and celebrate them because it is a reminder to me about the reasons why I forego returning to a corporate environment and all the financial perks that went with that. I did it because I wanted my girls to form a stronger relationship with me than the workers at their nursery.

However there is no perfect answer. There are all sorts of reasons why women go back to work full-time after having children. Further more there are down sides to the choice I made such as the fact that my hands are a little rougher from washing up on a daily basis all that does not go in the dishwasher because the water is so hard round here. There is an unspoken agreement that that falls into my domain because my OH is now the main breadwinner. This is something I rail against from time to time as it is not what I signed up for when we got married. However I do not push back too hard because I enjoy the benefits of having time with my girls whilst they are young, and the challenge that comes from running one's own business to make a profit.

What does community mean in a business context?

There are a number of things that have been mulling around my head recently that I have wanted to put into a post but it is difficult to know where to start especially when people and emotions are involved. In broad terms, it is about community.

For some, my notions about business may seem quaint and old-fashioned but time again I see them being reaffirmed in the transactions that I observe around me. Right now I feel the need to share them. This is in part because of a recent incident in the twitter community of Mums, for more do check out Vicki's excellent post, which brought home the importance of being surrounded by people that care. In addition I have pointed out that online social networks could play a much bigger role in building community in a post for Mumsrock.

As a Mumpreneur with my own business, I have an underlying desire to establish my credibility and of course enjoy the fruits of my labour. That said those things are not what drive my business. For me it is part of a bigger vision. I want to make connections with people, support them in their endeavours by sharing what has worked for me and learn from them all at the same time.

I also recognise that it is very tough in part because of the economic climate but also because if one has a small business and/ or is a sole trader then one does not have the brand of a company like PricewaterhouseCoopers. We all know that for every lead generated it can often take months before there is paid work coming from it and sometimes what happens is that one come up against a series of dead ends which can be frustrating at best, soul destroying at worst.

That is why all small business people need a support network around them so that on those occasions when resilience fails and it seems impossible to bounce back and try something else, you know to whom you can turn to facilitate that turnaround. For that reason I am passionate about community and creating it wherever I can.

This does not mean we should be surrounding ourselves with "yes" people or those who have the same world view, as sometimes we need to hear tough messages in order to grow. In fact one of the Mumpreneurs that I speak to regularly has a very different energy to me. She is very driven and focused and some may see her as quite hard. What I take away from our exchanges is that I may need to re-examine my stretch targets and ask myself is this really a stretch for me as she never settles for second best. This is invaluable to me and helps me to grow as a person and a business woman.

I also believe in the adage that people do business with people that they know, like and trust. One of the reasons I spend so much time on twitter is that I see it as a quick way to get a feel for what a person is like and to start building a relationship. Recently I met two wonderful men through connections in twitterverse. We then had a tweetup and were surprised at the level of synergy there was between us. We are now looking at how we could work together and I am so looking forward to our meeting next week. Who knows there may even be a co-authored book in the mix.

It does not always work that way. One thing I find less helpful is when I feel that a contact is building a relationship with me because they have an ulterior motive in mind such as selling me something or getting me to attend one of their events. I guess that is because it feels like they are trying to manipulate me and that at some level they take me for fool for not realising that I would suss out their game. In those situations trust is lost.

So how easy is it? To an extent it is straight forward. Currently I get a great sense of support and camaraderie from members of Minerva's Mind, Judith's Room and an offline community called Enterprising Mums. Can you ever have enough? Probably not but it comes back to the age old issue of needing to juggle time and other resources so that they are spent wisely. And this is why I am wondering about whether to involve more time in other networks that I have dabbled in and new networks that I have recently become aware of.

As with all these things there are no easy answers. It is about experimenting with things and sticking with what works and letting go of those that prove to be time wasters.

Are you an enterprising Mum?

So what are you doing this Thursday? Enterprising Mums are having a Business and Start up Fair aimed at Mums wondering what is next. So if you are thinking about becoming self employed, setting up your own business or you want to meet other Mums who work from home then come join us.

I will be there doing a talk on whether you can have it all and how to manage our way through whatever life throws at us! Currently trying to work out how we can get the insurance company to pay for a new hot water tank which they claim has leaked due to wear and tear, as this is not covered on our policy. We have a small problem of no hot water and no heating at the moment.

We will be at Plinston Hall, Letchworth on 28 Jan in the morning from 9.30am until 1pm and 6.30pm until 9.30pm. There will be lots of stalls and talks on a range of topics including how one Mum set up her own chocolate business or come listen to From Slummy Mummy to Yummy Mummy.