Today was a first for me. For months we had been planning to go away for the w/e camping with some of my hubby's University friends. They all have children so it would have been great fun for the young as well as an opportunity for the adults to catch up on a year's worth of news. About two weeks ago, the Universe, God if you will, decided to remind me that I was not in control of my life. I had a huge shock and had to make the toughest decision of my life to date. It was something I would not wish on anyone. Anyway the upshot of it all was that I ended up having a surgical procedure last week and was advised to take it easy for a week or two.
I knew my hubby would want to see his friends; that the girls love camping; and my body needed to recuperate. I realised that I had to convince my hubby to do the trip with the girls and leave me behind. In fact he was all for it and needed little convincing which felt like a result.
Yesterday our au pair was at home and whilst I rested, walked as a way to clear my mind, picked fruit at the old allotment, cooked a very healthy dinner of spicy greens with chick peas. However it was not a silent time. Today from about 9.30 to 16.30 I had the whole house to myself.
It felt very odd and I decided it was time to take a leaf out of Brene Brown's book on imperfection and experiment with calmness and stillness. Initially I felt as if there were a million things I needed to do and I went into human doing mode for a good hour or so, whilst tweeting and facebooking for inspiration. The lovely Rachael suggested the fab idea of lying on the grass watching the sky, something I enjoyed in the middle of the day when the sun was out, and yes I did apply factor 30 suncream on my face and neck! I used my neck pillow and practised my Alexandrian technique which felt really good to my back.
What got me into a place of stillness and calm was a 10 minute guided meditation using conscious embodiment techniques. It was magical and the key was focusing on the breath and that led to so much more. Later I topped it up with a practice which works with one's energetic field, also about 10 minutes which is as much as I can manage in one go.
I may not have had any life changing insights however I did realise I need to slow down in the run up to Poland. I made the decision to take about 65% of the next two weeks off which is a big step for me and focus on my family and getting fitter. The house is also the tidiest it has been in months which I find hugely pleasing!
I can definitely recommend the benefits of creating space and time for yourself as a way to revitalise and grow especially if you are a working parent! I had complete silence for around 7 hours and benefitted hugely from it. What small step(s) can you take to build more calm and stillness into your life?
Showing posts with label conscious embodiment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conscious embodiment. Show all posts
Sunday, 10 July 2011
Monday, 6 December 2010
How to enjoy the magic of Christmas
So I am conscious that many of my readers are parents as well as professionals which means as well as having a family you are either juggling the demands of others or your own business. So when the festive season comes along, frankly it can all seem to much. As an example, at the beginning of last week I remember reading someone's facebook status which said that they had bought all their Christmas presents and written all their Christmas cards. My thought at the time was and it's not even December yet! This was followed by a cold sweat and my gremlins took over for a moment and started saying I was so far behind I would never catch up...(you can imagine the rest). Why I am sharing all this with you is because after that something amazing happened which helps to explain the power of conscious embodiment. I took a breath and relaxed!
It was a bit more than that! I centred myself and from that space of calm, I was able to say that although I did not know how I was going to get everything done, I trusted myself enough to know that it would get done. It was amazing how much I did get done in one day - Saturday, a day when my OH was off "playing soldiers" and so I was a single parent. The girls and I spent a lovely part of the morning at the Melting Pot in Hitchin because my friend Dawn who runs it, had an open day. They were happy playing with a train set whilst I caught up with a number of people and bought 4 main presents and a couple of little ones. We then went on to the Town Hall where there was a Christmas Bazaar taking place,organised by White Rose Management. My intention was to go and support Sarah and I ended up buying another two presents, some delicious and highly original cupcakes for the home team and placing an order for cardigans for the girls.
What was lovely was how easy it all was. I now have my two international parcels made up to send out tomorrow. The Christmas letter is also written and I am a step closer to finalising another present. Suddenly it all seems much more manageable and I have actually started to enjoy the run up to Christmas - this week both girls have their nativity plays and I can't wait. One of the bonuses of having small children is that their infection is contagious. We have written letters to Father Christmas and they love opening their advent calendars each day and asking how many days it is until Christmas.
In short if you found yourself nodding with the sentiments expressed at the beginning of this post then here's something you can try:
1. Find a space where you can be quiet.
2. Stand with your weight evenly balanced between the front and back of your feet.
3. Take a breath in and then a much longer exhale out that you imagine spiralling into the floor.
4. Check that your shoulders and jaw are relaxed and you have dropped into your gut.
5. Visualise the space that you inhabit beyond your body is evenly distributed front and back; left and right; and above and below.
Now you are centred and from this space say to yourself I don't know how I am going to get everything ready for Christmas (or put in something else that is causing you a certain level of anxiety) but I believe that I can do it. Stay in that space for as long as you can - 10 seconds, 30 seconds, 2 minutes, 5 minutes. Then as the days unfold from that point on, watch what happens. It can be truly magically.
It was a bit more than that! I centred myself and from that space of calm, I was able to say that although I did not know how I was going to get everything done, I trusted myself enough to know that it would get done. It was amazing how much I did get done in one day - Saturday, a day when my OH was off "playing soldiers" and so I was a single parent. The girls and I spent a lovely part of the morning at the Melting Pot in Hitchin because my friend Dawn who runs it, had an open day. They were happy playing with a train set whilst I caught up with a number of people and bought 4 main presents and a couple of little ones. We then went on to the Town Hall where there was a Christmas Bazaar taking place,organised by White Rose Management. My intention was to go and support Sarah and I ended up buying another two presents, some delicious and highly original cupcakes for the home team and placing an order for cardigans for the girls.
What was lovely was how easy it all was. I now have my two international parcels made up to send out tomorrow. The Christmas letter is also written and I am a step closer to finalising another present. Suddenly it all seems much more manageable and I have actually started to enjoy the run up to Christmas - this week both girls have their nativity plays and I can't wait. One of the bonuses of having small children is that their infection is contagious. We have written letters to Father Christmas and they love opening their advent calendars each day and asking how many days it is until Christmas.
In short if you found yourself nodding with the sentiments expressed at the beginning of this post then here's something you can try:
1. Find a space where you can be quiet.
2. Stand with your weight evenly balanced between the front and back of your feet.
3. Take a breath in and then a much longer exhale out that you imagine spiralling into the floor.
4. Check that your shoulders and jaw are relaxed and you have dropped into your gut.
5. Visualise the space that you inhabit beyond your body is evenly distributed front and back; left and right; and above and below.
Now you are centred and from this space say to yourself I don't know how I am going to get everything ready for Christmas (or put in something else that is causing you a certain level of anxiety) but I believe that I can do it. Stay in that space for as long as you can - 10 seconds, 30 seconds, 2 minutes, 5 minutes. Then as the days unfold from that point on, watch what happens. It can be truly magically.
Wednesday, 1 December 2010
What is the relationship between mentoring and authenticity?
One of the things about mentoring is that you get back as much if not more than you put in. I have been mentoring an amazing woman who also has a passion for diversity. Earlier in the year, when we were both doing some training for the NBP, we got talking and that is how it all began. As it happens she is also a coach and an experienced one at that, which means that because we both take an informal approach to our sessions, I generally receive a free coaching session too. A wonderful extra I never expected when we entered the process, nor is it part of the official process.
The irony is that my mentee is mid-way through the recruitment process for an organisation that I have known for over half my working life. We had a session by phone today which had the primary purpose of preparing her for her interview next week. That was accomplished and so much more was as well.
It all started with an innocuous question about how I was. I started to relate something that I have been processing for a while that has been very painful. Before I knew it I was being coached. It was fascinating because through the conversation I was able to meet one of my saboteurs or as Wendy Palmer refers to them "grinches" (a much more colourful description). Rebel girl is someone I know well who wants to protect and will come out all guns blazing with the attitude of I don't give a f**k whenever she feels I have been attacked. Today I realised that to move on I need to be able to acknowledge her and the part she plays for me. I tend to wrestle with her or repress her which means that she pins me down by stealth - an amusing sight for those on the outside which can be mortifying for me.
What I was able to do by having the coaching conversation was first to get a longer term perspective on the matter; second to dialogue with myself and in so doing be more of my whole self and refind my centre. If you are into conscious embodiment, you will recognise the next phrase which is what I came up with: I am committed to the process, I don't know what the outcome will be but I trust whatever it is. Holding the space of unknowing rather than trying to control it, seek external approval or back a way due to a lack of safety is something I am really starting to get.
The beauty of experiencing such moments of wholeness is that I can share them with my clients and thereby give them practical tools to get more out of their lives as well as enable my own authentic self to grow. It's a great win-win. It is also a good example of what can be gained in a mentoring relationship.
Friday, 5 November 2010
Giving and receiving using the body
I want to share something with you this week that is emerging out of a conversation that I had recently. First because it may help you to recognise a similar aha moment in a conversation and lead to you making the connections that you need to make more quickly. Second because I do believe that what we say and how we act is reflected back by the Universe for lots of reasons, one of the main ones being that we are made of energy.
Quite often those of us who are stay at home parents or part-time workers find ourselves drawn into non-paying activities that hold true to our values. For me this year it has been joining the Offley School Association (OSA) as my daughter started at the school. I think it is also dependent on what type of person we are. I cannot count the number of conversations I have been party to where people wonder why so few volunteer to ensure that charitable organisations can run effectively. That is a whole other topic but getting back to this one. If you are the type of person who is good at organising stuff or believes it is important to help create community then you can find yourself over committing yourself.
Context given how does that relate to the conversation I was having with a couple of men who are parents but whose kids have since flown the nest. We were talking about themes around spirituality and business the focus of our current book and issue that often crops up amongst those with a spiritual bent in life. They often keep on giving and are less able to receive what they need. Does this sound familiar? It all came together for me earlier today when I was chatting with a Mum and friend who is also a PTA member but not at Offley. Everything came to a head for her this week. She felt overwhelmed by events because her pattern is to give generously to others of her self until her energy is depleted.
So what is the answer? I don't believe it is about stopping to give tempting though that is at times. The answer for me lies in Conscious Embodiment. In other words seeing our bodies as a vessel through which the Universe's boundless energy of giving can flow. That may sound a bit odd to you which is why it is great to experience it through undertaking Conscious Embodiment - doing physical exercises which demonstrate this principle in action. It is incredibly powerful and more than that it is a way of protecting ourselves in a positive way.
The second part of the answer is allowing ourselves to be open to receive. Easy you say. It certainly has not been for me. I find it incredibly difficult to ask others for help when I need it. Perhaps you are the same holding a belief that it is important to be strong and to hide your vulnerabilities. Quite a few of these realisations came to me as a result of having a conversation about receiving and this is also how the Universe works. It brings things into your conscious thoughts if you start to think and talk about them.
If you would find it helpful to explore Conscious Embodiment further then there is an opportunity coming up in January to find wholeness through connecting the mind and the body here.
Quite often those of us who are stay at home parents or part-time workers find ourselves drawn into non-paying activities that hold true to our values. For me this year it has been joining the Offley School Association (OSA) as my daughter started at the school. I think it is also dependent on what type of person we are. I cannot count the number of conversations I have been party to where people wonder why so few volunteer to ensure that charitable organisations can run effectively. That is a whole other topic but getting back to this one. If you are the type of person who is good at organising stuff or believes it is important to help create community then you can find yourself over committing yourself.
Context given how does that relate to the conversation I was having with a couple of men who are parents but whose kids have since flown the nest. We were talking about themes around spirituality and business the focus of our current book and issue that often crops up amongst those with a spiritual bent in life. They often keep on giving and are less able to receive what they need. Does this sound familiar? It all came together for me earlier today when I was chatting with a Mum and friend who is also a PTA member but not at Offley. Everything came to a head for her this week. She felt overwhelmed by events because her pattern is to give generously to others of her self until her energy is depleted.
So what is the answer? I don't believe it is about stopping to give tempting though that is at times. The answer for me lies in Conscious Embodiment. In other words seeing our bodies as a vessel through which the Universe's boundless energy of giving can flow. That may sound a bit odd to you which is why it is great to experience it through undertaking Conscious Embodiment - doing physical exercises which demonstrate this principle in action. It is incredibly powerful and more than that it is a way of protecting ourselves in a positive way.
The second part of the answer is allowing ourselves to be open to receive. Easy you say. It certainly has not been for me. I find it incredibly difficult to ask others for help when I need it. Perhaps you are the same holding a belief that it is important to be strong and to hide your vulnerabilities. Quite a few of these realisations came to me as a result of having a conversation about receiving and this is also how the Universe works. It brings things into your conscious thoughts if you start to think and talk about them.
If you would find it helpful to explore Conscious Embodiment further then there is an opportunity coming up in January to find wholeness through connecting the mind and the body here.
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