Friday, 26 February 2010

Fulfilment is a radical act

Wow what a week it has been. I have been out every night this week and that will continue tonight and tomorrow night. Then on Sunday we are at friends for Sunday lunch before going on holiday for a week and a much needed rest! I thrive on being busy and the week has been so varied, more anon but there is a down side: OH gets grumpy because he has to adapt his work plans and fend for himself and sometimes the girls too at dinner time. It reminds me of one of those little personality tests one does where one ranks animals and it tells you which of five things are most important to you: they include career, love and family. I remember when I did it many years ago family was the least important and career was the most important!

All that has changed now of course but there is a cost to all this activity. On the more trivial side it has been two weeks since I last saw sight of the two year old's doodles. The shoe rack has been tidied and the utility room searched to no avail. It irritates me but I try to let go of it as there is very little more I can do and they must be somewhere in the house so why waste energy fretting about it. Similarly we have just noticed that Erin's favourite CD is not where it should be above the CD player on the shelf and she keeps asking for it. We have checked the car and as it has not been played for a couple of months I have no idea where it is and again it is minor. Underlying these kind of minor irritations, is something that is potentially much larger. I have noticed that the more that I go out to work, the more the running of the house grinds to a halt.

However this observation leads me to reflect on the words of a very powerful motivational speaker whom I was privileged to hear earlier this week and that was the Investigator. In essence having a vision and following it, whilst it can be empowering and lead to great things like seeing the first black man in the White House; it comes at a price. In the case of Obama, there was a photo of him sprawled across a chair with his feet on the table. The soles of his shoes were visible and had virtually worn through from all the walking he did on the campaign trail. Quite different from the videos of his inaugural speech where he was saying yes we can.

In short, many people never get to the stage where they have articulated a compelling future and therefore can be envious of those that have. Yet even when we have a clear sense of the direction of travel and our purpose here on earth, fulfilling it comes at a price. I am now beginning to understand what Jesus meant when he told his disciples that he had no family and that they were his family. He knew what he had to do and there was no space for family ties and loyalty within that. It is also becoming clear to me why I kept reading references to the CTI quotation fulfilment is a radical act. I had to grasp it, absorb it and write about it.


  1. You must be exhausted....Have a lovely break.

  2. Got it in one Nova. Last night I felt shattered and a bit flat which comes from those kind of mad weeks. However writing the post gave me the energy to write the 1st draft of the 1st chapter of my book. Really appreciate the good wishes and the comment and hope you have a good week too whilst I am away ;-)

  3. Kate,

    What you write is so true. Self-fulfilment is a radical act. It takes work and (ironically) often self-sacrifice.

    For example I have decided not to have children, because I have so many dreams and ideas - I simply cannot see where children would fit in. Obviously having children is not a huge drive for me like it is for so many women - and yes I have probably thought about it too much... BUT that doesn't mean I don't want to have children - that I don't realise I'm missing out on something amazing and incredibly challenging and that would help me grow in so many ways.

    But as a non-mom I'll have more time and energy to devote to my spiritual path and my work. But I won't get to have those awesome mother-child moments. I won't have that feeling of achievement and wonder from having brought LIFE into the world. I won't get to watch and support living evidence of the love between my husband and I grow up. And I will NEVER be a grandmother - something I would cherish.

    But motherhood aside - as this is NOT what your post is about.

    Self-fufilment IS a radical act. It takes focus and effort to go for what we want, it takes courage to explore our deepest selves and to challenge society, our friend and family's expectations of us to fulfil ourselves and our dreams.

    I wrote somewhere recently in a different context - that it is much easier to disappoint ourselves than other people (how sad is that?). But it's YOUR life. No-one else lives it for you.

    Thanks for the reminder Kate.


  4. How fabulous to come back to your comment Emma-Louise... And what a sacrifice you have made, not that I was one of those who made a conscious decision to have children. It is true what you say that when you have children, wonderful though they are, you limit the energy and time that you have for other stuff. Discovering one's spiritual path and going deeper with it, is so much what the journey through life is about.

    It makes me realise how today we have so much choice and some of the ones we make can be very tough. Good luck with your onward journey and I am so glad that our paths have crossed and we can journey together for a while ;-)