The green shoots of change

Lately I have been writing fewer posts on the blog and there are many reasons for that, one of which is that I have not felt the urge to write. Tonight despite the lateness of the hour, I feel as if I am walking on air; it is as if I am seeing green shoots appearing in a landscape that felt rather barren up until now.

I am wrestling with what could be a huge change in my life and at the moment I am not ready to share the details with you. Suffice to say that it made loads of sense when my good friend Michael, who is into all things astrological said that we are in the midst of huge transition. What I have read it to mean is that we are moving from a time which has been characterised by lack of structure and subtlety to the point of frustration, to a time of action. Bring it on is what I say.

It is not a seamless transition, there is often a whole load of flotsam that comes with it. I have certainly had my share in the last 24 hours which has included finding an infestation of carpet beetle in the house to putting unleaded petrol into a car that takes diesel! There is more I could mention but that's in the past and I want to focus elsewhere.

Two great things have come to pass today. I found out that I have been selected to coach a senior person from a professional services background which is wonderful because the client could have chosen others! The second was stumbling across a group of fantastic, resourceful women. I attended something as a piece of research for an idea that I have and came away with so much useful stuff that I did not expect which was very uplifting.

I am sharing all this with you because it is often when we are at our lowest ebb, when we think that we can take no more that something shifts and new opportunities appear. If this resonates with you, then reflect on the message of Coelho's The Alchemist. We tend to face our biggest challenges as we near our goal. Don't give up, keep believing.

This photo is brought to you courtesy of JBPhotographer

The lion's strength lies in its vulnerability

Do you find that you have patterns of behaviour that repeat themselves over and over until you are sick of them, they are so familiar? Every time you think that you have got to grips with a particular pattern something happens and before you know it you are back in the same old trap? I am imagining you nodding your head. If you talk about it do you find that people become all censorious about it or perhaps overly understanding? Neither help because in the end we have to make peace with ourselves, accept ourselves for who we are. Or if we cannot, then it is time to go down the path of change which can be tough and rewarding all at the same time.

We are always at choice. When something happens, we can either respond to it or ignore it. What we decide to do to some extent depends on our values and what is important to us. At school I was not popular and one of the main reasons for this was because I always supported the underdogs, those that were bullied or picked on because one of my core values is social justice and equality. This has stayed with me so that often at great cost to myself, I find that I am speaking out about injustices that I notice.

This goes counter to another tendency that we all have to some extent and that is the desire to belong, to be part of something bigger than ourselves. This is so important to some people's identities that they will defend and protect it to the point where they will turn on the person who has brought into question some of their practices rather than remain curious to new ideas, and by so doing grow and learn. Change can be painful and not everyone is ready to embrace it.

One of my favourite patterns when I feel vulnerable and raw is to withdraw so that no one can see my pain and then when I am strong again, I bound back and rejoin the throng. I have decided to challenge that way of being this time and share my observations and pain whilst it is still very real so do remember that when you read this post and if you decide to comment.

Mums' Monday: what does half-term mean to you?

Some have already started half-term if they have a two week break. My eldest daughter’s starts today and I have been looking forward to it for weeks. Why is that you may ask? There are two main reasons – the first is that I have missed having her around since she started pre-school in September and I am looking forward to spending time with her this week as the days do whizz by. Secondly it is one of the wonderful things about working for myself. I can choose what hours I do; who I work for or with so if I want to have more of a go slow week, I can programme that into my schedule.

Those that know me well would probably say that I tend to sort play dates etc. quite last minute and at best the week before so I am also revelling in having been more organised this time. I have a range of treats some of which are more aimed at the girls and some that have my name on it. It all started because I picked up a flyer at the St Albans Baby Show, at which Minerva’s Mind had a stand, at the beginning of September. The flyer was for Going on a bear hunt which was due to perform in St Albans during half term week. Within a couple of weeks, I had spoken to lots of my St Albans friends with kids and arranged for eight of us to go on the Tuesday of half term. Going through that process got me thinking about what else we were going to do and I remembered that due to illness we had not seen a good friend of mine and her girls in the summer holidays so I arranged to see them. What with work days that only left one day, which got filled up when I bumped into a friend in Hitchin two weeks ago and we realised that our two eldest girls had not seen each other since the summer hols because her eldest started school this term and has been too tired to have play dates.

Reflecting back on all this I realise that part of the novelty of it all has been having a plan to which I can refer when asked by friends about half-term. It would seem that in “Myers-Briggs” terms, my latent J is making a bid for being recognised over the normally transcendent P. The benefit of advance planning was that I have been looking forward to half-term. In part this is due to the fact that it means a change to routine which is always a good thing in my book. This is interesting because Professor Richard Wiseman who espouses positive psychology, and has done some studies into the reasons that some people seem to be happier than others suggests that one of the reasons for that is that these people embrace change and are actively choosing new experiences. These may include taking a different route to work periodically or only talking to people at an event who are wearing a red tie.

You can see how much I have gained from taking a different approach to something that happens regularly so my challenge to you is to think about what you could do differently, try it and see what happens. I would love to hear about your experiences so do leave me a comment or email me at kate@minervasmind.co.uk. The question I am going to leave you with is what are you going to do differently this week?