The lion's strength lies in its vulnerability

Do you find that you have patterns of behaviour that repeat themselves over and over until you are sick of them, they are so familiar? Every time you think that you have got to grips with a particular pattern something happens and before you know it you are back in the same old trap? I am imagining you nodding your head. If you talk about it do you find that people become all censorious about it or perhaps overly understanding? Neither help because in the end we have to make peace with ourselves, accept ourselves for who we are. Or if we cannot, then it is time to go down the path of change which can be tough and rewarding all at the same time.

We are always at choice. When something happens, we can either respond to it or ignore it. What we decide to do to some extent depends on our values and what is important to us. At school I was not popular and one of the main reasons for this was because I always supported the underdogs, those that were bullied or picked on because one of my core values is social justice and equality. This has stayed with me so that often at great cost to myself, I find that I am speaking out about injustices that I notice.

This goes counter to another tendency that we all have to some extent and that is the desire to belong, to be part of something bigger than ourselves. This is so important to some people's identities that they will defend and protect it to the point where they will turn on the person who has brought into question some of their practices rather than remain curious to new ideas, and by so doing grow and learn. Change can be painful and not everyone is ready to embrace it.

One of my favourite patterns when I feel vulnerable and raw is to withdraw so that no one can see my pain and then when I am strong again, I bound back and rejoin the throng. I have decided to challenge that way of being this time and share my observations and pain whilst it is still very real so do remember that when you read this post and if you decide to comment.