The power of one: the story of how one woman felt the fear and did it anyway

I so excited about what my friend Shamela Kylassum has created.  In under a month she has put together Bollygood and the idea is to get 4,000 people following the simple moves in the video at 3pm (BST) on 12 May.  Why you might ask is she doing this?  

First if she is successful then she will have broken a world record but that is almost incidental.  She is looking to raise £10,000 for Macmillan Cancer Support.  This is because two years ago, a good friend of Shamela's called Sophie Parr, died of cancer 16 days after they diagnosed her.  She was only 24 years old.  She loved Bollywood so it seems a fitting way to pay tribute to her life and to ensure that others have the support that they need if they get the big C.

In under 30 days, Shamela has managed to persuade the head of Consulting at PwC to endorse what she is doing and he hopes to bring his family to the event.  She has also received funding from PwC's chairman in the UK, Ian Powell, which is no mean feat.  The choreographer for the Jai Ho is the world famous Jay Kumar.  As well as the main event in London, she already has satellite events in Florida, Seattle and Cape Town.  

It makes it sound so easy or perhaps you think she is just lucky.  What I want to do is share her story with you in her own words because then you will see how tough this has been at times and how much she has needed to emphasise her vulnerability to make this into the success it is becoming.

I would be lovely to say that its all been easy from the initial conception of the idea to getting to this point but that would be inauthentic.  Its been the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  The resignation is always there and I have had to work hard to banish my gremlins. 

When looking for the venue - I hit a stage of panic, I was enrolling people and registering them, but I was getting no where with getting an awesome venue.  I was in a very negative place, thinking that I was letting everyone down.  Then a Landmark graduate friend told me what I needed to hear which was to stop giving meaning to everything.  Even more than that was the realisation that this project is not about me, and I started to drop my ego around it.  I went to bed that night, thinking "just stand in the possibility of the right venue turning up". 

The next morning I received an email from a lady at Westminster city council offering me Victoria Embankment Gardens for free.  I burst into tears and rang up my Landmark Self Expression and Leadership Programme (SELP) coach and babbled down the phone about how amazing that was.... 

The next challenge was the 3rd party liability insurance.  Only one or two places do this kind of cover and they quoted £500- 600. Initially I thought, I can cover it as my contribution, but the same friend told me that would be too reasonable.... he said there was another way and to find that other way.  Once again I stood in the possibility of another way, and emailed Macmillan for help.  They came back with a proposition of becoming a Macmillan committee and then they would help us with a bank account and would cover the insurance for us - AMAZING and so easy. 

I then focused on the next thing, the choreographer.  A friend of mine had volunteered but wasn't getting in touch - so this time I stepped into the possibility that the best choreographer would turn up and Jay Kumar, who runs a bollywood dance business, posted on the facebook page within minutes.   


So what is happening now?  More and more people in PwC are stepping up and making sure Bollygood has a life of its own.  My SELP team keep pushing me, my coach and my buddy keep reminding me to be unreasonable and thanks to them I have achieved so much. People are spontaneously offering help - a local restaurant owner got in touch and asked if he can help. We have the possibility of royalty and celebs coming and who knows what else is possible! 

My life has opened up in a way that is so unexpected and magical ..... I am being seen as someone that has vision and that can create something from nothing, ( my old past self is really quite overwhelmed, my new self is really proud) !!! I am now present to the real power and magic of this in your life.

You too can support this initiative either by running a satellite event - you only need 25 people to run one.  Alternatively attend one of the four events that will be running and donate to the cause by clicking here.

It is incredible to think what can be achieved when you put your mind to it and get your saboteurs - the negative small talk in your head - under control.  Powerful coaching can help you achieve all this and more.  What can you do to transform your life today and how can I help you?

What is the difference between a coach and a good friend?

Some people wonder how having a coach is different from having a friend and perhaps you are one of those people. You might think I have lots of good friends and a partner surely I can talk to them. Of course you can talk to people yoou know and there are some similarities between a coach and a friend. A coach needs to be someone with whom you have rapport. If the rapport is not there then you will not trust them and will consciously or unconsciously hold back what really needs to be said. There, however the similarity ends.

A coach's role is to work with a person's essence. So if you are the client then the coach uses tools to see who you can really be and to help that shine through as so often it is hidden. One of the ways of doing that is to really engage with you so that the underlying issues/ feelings are heard and brought out onto the table. Listening is a key skill in all this and what this means is focusing one's whole attention onto the client rather than thinking what shall I say next. In this way a coach is in service of their client. Also a degree of anonymity helps this process, as friends may see you as a particular kind of person and hold you in that space rather than seeing all of who you can be.

What can coaching do for you?

The purpose of this blog is to introduce you to coaching with me. Since starting my own company I have realised that despite the proliferation of coaches in the global marketplace, there are still many people that have very little idea what coaching can do for them. Perhaps because they are not clear on the benefits of a good coach, they also tend to see coaching as a non-essential extra that they may fit in when they have time.

From my perspective, coaching is an exceptionally valuable tool. Its purpose is to help individuals move forward from wherever they find themselves at that current moment. For example earlier today I was working with a very well known consultant and trained psychotherapist who has over 35 years experience coaching and consulting to consultants. His feedback at the end of the telephone session was that I had freed him up and taken him to a more creative space in which to prepare for a big event later this week. In other words coaching helps individuals reach their full potential and to live and work from that place by moving forward from the present.