Monday, 7 December 2009

Mums' Monday: ever feel like skipping Christmas?

As the old saying goes, it never rains but it pours. The last few days it has felt as if my world has been turned upside down. I became a single parent over night and at the same time my laptop packed up and the boiler has to be replaced!

What has helped? I have been incredibly fortunate to have the support of my husband's family and my own family. They have rallied round to do what they can. It has made me realise how resilient those who do not have access to a partner or extended family must be; and I have a greater sense of respect for them.

I have also coped by taking things slowly and being really clear about my priorities. This was critical because at one point I was getting wound up about the fact that I had not written the Christmas letter nor felt like doing it. As my Mum said I can always write a New Year letter, the world is not going to end without it. It's one day or even one step at a time.

Part of the go slow has meant listening to my body more. This has included caring for it by grabbing time to have a long soak in the tub - a novelty for me as Mum to two tots. It has also included going to bed early as I realise that all the emotional worry of the situation has made me more tired.

I also realised how important it is for everyone including coaches to have a coach. Part of the way that I heal is by having a good cry as a way of releasing all the pent-up emotions inside. I have found that family members are uncomfortable with all that whereas a good coach understands the process, shows compassion and just holds the space for you.

I do believe that everything that happens to us is an opportunity for learning. As one close family friend asked has this experience aged you to which I came back with a resounding yes. That aside I am grateful that I have such a supportive family and visiting my husband in hospital has reminded me what a great team we make and what I love about him. He has also received some much needed rest which has been difficult to take with a demanding job and two young children.


  1. Something similar happened to us last Christmas, except my husband became the single parent overnight. Last year we just about managed to have Christmas, but there was no Santa letter, visits to Santa etc.

    This year we're making up for lost time - just as you will next year. But the thing I've learnt is that my kids didn't loose out last year - they felt the immense love and kindness from our family and friends as they supported us during this difficult time. And surely this is more important as love and kindness is what Christmas is/should be about?

    Heed your own words - look after yourself, don't be afraid to ask for help and think positively.

    I hope your hubbie gets well soon.

  2. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a difficult patch. It sounds like you're doing the right thing and taking care of yourself. Sending you (((HUGS))) and get well wishes to your husband x