re: what to do when the creative juices are not flowing

How often do you find yourself going round in circles on an issue particularly if you run your own business? It feels like a vicious circle. You cannot seem to get any clarity? Any suggestions that you have or others make do not seem viable for one reason and another? If this is happening then you are being overwhelmed by fears or other negative emotions and it's as if no course of action is the right one. It is very likely that you are at cause, stuck in an issue. In other words I cannot do that because....

What a good coach or mentor can do is help you move to effect where you can see what the effect of a particular action could be. One of the ways of doing this is to ask "What will you feel if you don't carry out this plan/ idea?" If the disappointment is greater than the fear then it will act as a motivator to help move you on. Another way is to focus on how you will feel when you have accomplished that goal and if that feels really compelling and exciting then it can be enough to stimulate you into action.

So if you feel stuck try these ideas through self coaching and perhaps write down your answers to each of the questions. Do let me know how you get on.

Mums' Monday: ever feel like skipping Christmas?

As the old saying goes, it never rains but it pours. The last few days it has felt as if my world has been turned upside down. I became a single parent over night and at the same time my laptop packed up and the boiler has to be replaced!

What has helped? I have been incredibly fortunate to have the support of my husband's family and my own family. They have rallied round to do what they can. It has made me realise how resilient those who do not have access to a partner or extended family must be; and I have a greater sense of respect for them.

I have also coped by taking things slowly and being really clear about my priorities. This was critical because at one point I was getting wound up about the fact that I had not written the Christmas letter nor felt like doing it. As my Mum said I can always write a New Year letter, the world is not going to end without it. It's one day or even one step at a time.

Part of the go slow has meant listening to my body more. This has included caring for it by grabbing time to have a long soak in the tub - a novelty for me as Mum to two tots. It has also included going to bed early as I realise that all the emotional worry of the situation has made me more tired.

I also realised how important it is for everyone including coaches to have a coach. Part of the way that I heal is by having a good cry as a way of releasing all the pent-up emotions inside. I have found that family members are uncomfortable with all that whereas a good coach understands the process, shows compassion and just holds the space for you.

I do believe that everything that happens to us is an opportunity for learning. As one close family friend asked has this experience aged you to which I came back with a resounding yes. That aside I am grateful that I have such a supportive family and visiting my husband in hospital has reminded me what a great team we make and what I love about him. He has also received some much needed rest which has been difficult to take with a demanding job and two young children.

What makes for a great interaction with impact?

Just read The Tipping Point. Lots of people were talking about it a few years back and now it felt the right time to read it as I was curious to find out what the ingredients are that make an idea into an overnight success. All of which is hugely relevant now that I am a Mumpreneur.

There were many fascinating points in the book and yet there was one part that stood out from the rest for me and that was the concept of where emotion comes from. I had always assumed that my emotions came from within and said more about me than the other person or thing that was the object of whatever that set of feelings were. Gladwell quotes research done by psychologists that show in fact that it is the reverse. We respond to quite small often imperceptible cues from others. If they smile then we are likely to smile and if they are giving off some kind of negative energy then it may well affect us. The other interesting point is that there are those with the force of personality that can neutralise or reverse the negative energy of another by their presence. It goes without saying that if those who are charismatic in this way happen to exude negative thoughts then others will not be able to shift that and are most likely to be infected by it. So my challenge to myself and to you if you are up for it, is to spend the whole day smiling and giving off positive energy and to see what impact that has.