Monday, 17 May 2010

Why can change be so immutable?

This weekend I watched the famous film The Wrestler. I mention it because it really rocked my world. Firstly when I heard that it was the film we had received from Love Film, I was not confident that it was one that I wanted to watch. Then my partner told me that Mickey Rourke was in it and I remembered why I had chosen it in the first place. I have a secret admiration for the man who has not had an easy life.
Watching it reminded me why change is so difficult. Here was a man who had become well known for wrestling. He nearly dies and the doctor tells him in no uncertain terms that he has to change his lifestyle. To give Mickey Rourke's character his due, he tries. However, like many
photo reproduced thanks to DC Wooten
people coming out of prison, he fails to make meaningful relationships. So his response is to say f**k it and return to the world of wrestling. No conclusion is reached but it is clear that going back to the fight will jeopardise the wrestler's health.
For me it was a clear example of why change is so difficult. We all have a preconception of our worth in the world and that is so clear often that it is very difficult to change. When we genuinely try and make those changes, we are ridiculed by those most close to us like our family and best friends. This happens because we are not behaving in the way that those that know us expect us to behave.
Why have I spent so much time going through the plot of the film and what happens when we try to initiate change because it explains why 70 % of change initiatives whether in the workplace or personal space fail. It is not just down to us but how those around us expect us to behave.
The key to successful change happens on an individual level. It is all about believing that change is possible and sticking with that vision through thick or thin. So if you are struggling to see a change come about, think about the wider picture and what may be impeding that and from that view as the observer make a decision about how to change.
Love to hear your thoughts especially at the moment when I am having to deal with a change that has been thrust upon me and am dealing with the side effects which means handling grief and loss brought about because of the change.


  1. I'm really sorry you're having to cope with an unwelcome change in circumstances and as you say the grief and loss that come with it. You say that when we try to change our biggest critics can be those closest to us. I've found that to be true, however I don't believe it's because they're uncharitable. Rather I think it's because they are so invested in us they are scared to believe it can happen. We want them to be 'on board' but really it's asking too much.NO,whatever major change we instigate we need to prove the worth of the new direction to ourselves first (by taking initial steps) and then our loved ones, and fans will come on board. Don't you think?

  2. Hello there my friend. Yes we need to decide on our own way first and those closest to us can be our biggest critics for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes it is because we have got into patterns of relationships and the change impacts on how the two people interact so the partner/ good friend denies it because they don't want to change. In my case, it is to do with business and I know that it is right the decision. No one has been critical but the sense of loss is similar to what one feels after been dumped by a boyfriend. That only happened to me once! If we don't acknowledge the pain and reflect on it all how can we move on and grow. I like to think that as one door closes, another opens.