Wednesday, 28 April 2010

State of mind: discombobulated

As I sit here, I know that I am tired. In fact I am wishing fervently that instead of tweaking the monthly profile for Minerva's Mind and sending an article on social responsibility to Karen Birch for the 3rdimagazine, I had just had a nap. Afternoon naps can be so refreshing and revitalising and often absolutely necessary with two small children. Net result is a state of discombobulation because I hate to admit to any form of inadequacy.

Why am I so shattered you may well ask. Well it is all due to the fact that I had a great time last night with lots of girlfriend energy and got carried away, matching two of my friends drink for drink. As one of them commented this morning when we texted each other I think I am still drunk! It was midnight when I kicked them out. So yes it is all self-inflicted.
The danger is that when you get tired, it is far more difficult to see things in perspective. In other words, your shadow side makes an appearance. How does it manifest itself? Usually as a voice in your head that starts making comments which are derogatory at best. If you get sucked into whatever it is saying and start to believe it, your confidence and self-belief takes a knock. If it gets really bad, paranoia can set in and you start questioning everything you are doing. Sound familiar?
Note so self: I really must start practising what I share with my clients and that is SELF-CARE. Too late for now, the two year old is awake and her voice is rising into a crescendo because quite rightly she expects Mummy to appear and bring on the entertainment. Thankfully the eldest has been taken to ballet and will be back later. My prayer: oh Universe give me the strength to get through the rest of this afternoon until bedtime.
This was written as part of the Writing Workshop over at Sleep is for the Weak and is a response to the prompt Pick an emotion that best represents your state of mind right now and write on it creatively. Mission accomplished but I am not at all sure how creative this piece is.

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